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challenges
January 2009 
4: What were my greatest challenges/lessons?
Posted on Dec 27th, 2008
by 
Cara Leah
Cara Leah
I'm a little behind with my list. Well last night I had one of my greatest challenges, which is also the lesson if one chooses to view it that way. Very tricky Michelle. :)
Challenge: Last night I had to find a way to get home after work. The bus I usually take stopped running due to the weather conditions. The hillside roads down to the beach were closed. My first reaction was to cry and stomp my feet. That only lasted a couple of minutes. My second reaction was to stomp home in the snow and ice, resenting every step of the way and blaming the bus company if I got hurt! Now that was productive and I caught myself almost immediately. (progress) I ended up taking the one remaining bus as far as I could and walked the rest of the way. A nice compromise.
Lesson: What I discovered is that it was not as bad as it appeared to be and that I was capable of getting home under my own steam even in undesirable weather conditions.
Challenge: I had not seen my daughter or grandchildren for about 14 months after she suddenly moved away to another province. Our relationship had not been the best for a number of reasons but the one thing I had time to reflect on was how I had become her enabler through what I "beleived" was being supportive. I decided that one of the ways I could really be supportive was to say no to taking care of her and putting her in a position to take care of herself. It was so hard but I stood fast in my decision. I said no over and over again even though my heart felt like it was breaking. Since that time she has made some hard decisions that ultimately benefited her children. She has gotten a job and does it well. She helps with the household responsibilities and is working on her self-esteem. She lives with my husband and I with the clear understanding that she is loved but I will not sacrifice my own wellbeing to enable her past behaviours.
Lesson: "No" can sometimes be the most loving, respectful word in the English language. And, I am capable of caring enough about myself and others to say it.
Challenge: Seeing my first husband after 21 years.
Lesson: Animosity only exists if you feed it. And, time has been kind to me. There is genuine growth potential for future use in this one. We'll see how that goes.
These may not be earth shattering but they are the things that come to mind right now. I suspect this little list may have the potential to become a monthly thing and then allow me to really take a better look at the things I perceived as challenges and the ultimate lessons and make use of them to move full steam ahead.
On to number 5.
Challenge: Last night I had to find a way to get home after work. The bus I usually take stopped running due to the weather conditions. The hillside roads down to the beach were closed. My first reaction was to cry and stomp my feet. That only lasted a couple of minutes. My second reaction was to stomp home in the snow and ice, resenting every step of the way and blaming the bus company if I got hurt! Now that was productive and I caught myself almost immediately. (progress) I ended up taking the one remaining bus as far as I could and walked the rest of the way. A nice compromise.
Lesson: What I discovered is that it was not as bad as it appeared to be and that I was capable of getting home under my own steam even in undesirable weather conditions.
Challenge: I had not seen my daughter or grandchildren for about 14 months after she suddenly moved away to another province. Our relationship had not been the best for a number of reasons but the one thing I had time to reflect on was how I had become her enabler through what I "beleived" was being supportive. I decided that one of the ways I could really be supportive was to say no to taking care of her and putting her in a position to take care of herself. It was so hard but I stood fast in my decision. I said no over and over again even though my heart felt like it was breaking. Since that time she has made some hard decisions that ultimately benefited her children. She has gotten a job and does it well. She helps with the household responsibilities and is working on her self-esteem. She lives with my husband and I with the clear understanding that she is loved but I will not sacrifice my own wellbeing to enable her past behaviours.
Lesson: "No" can sometimes be the most loving, respectful word in the English language. And, I am capable of caring enough about myself and others to say it.
Challenge: Seeing my first husband after 21 years.
Lesson: Animosity only exists if you feed it. And, time has been kind to me. There is genuine growth potential for future use in this one. We'll see how that goes.
These may not be earth shattering but they are the things that come to mind right now. I suspect this little list may have the potential to become a monthly thing and then allow me to really take a better look at the things I perceived as challenges and the ultimate lessons and make use of them to move full steam ahead.
On to number 5.
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