Blessing for Being this Holiday Season

It has been awhile since I have been at this keyboard.  Alot has happened and through the happening, I have come to know myself on a deeper level.    It serves no purpose to retell the stories so I won't.  The outcomes are the important events.

I have faced my youth and determined that I am no longer in need of the drama and trauma that made everything so difficult.  I re-evaluated a  35 year friendship and determined that self generated pain and codependence no longer served as a foundation for relationship.  I still love my friend, I simply asked that we determine if we can create a stronger foundation and leave the need to be a victimizing victim behind.

I embraced a husband that I had not seen for 21 years for no other reason than because we love the children we made together and they needed us to be parents for them during a difficult time for them.  And I only remembered the greatness of the love I carried for him in my youth.

I made the decision to accept the opportunity to re-parent my 30 year old daughter and help her gain the self esteem she was unable to locate in her childhood.  I learned that it is not possible to change the past and the guilt carried by the parent  quickly becomes the baggage of the child in adulthood.  Different decisions on my part as a parent today may forge a stronger future for my child.  I now KNOW that a parent and child are partners in life and there is no room for the adult ego if the spirit takes the reins.  All children respond to hugs and I love you no matter how many decades they have been here.

I discovered that it is impossible to make my family see me as I am now.  They are too busy living in the world of who I was and who they need me to be to comfort their own lives and all the baggage they carry.  The only way I can find peace with my own childhood is to let it be mine and not continue trying to make it "theirs".  Everybody believes what they need to believe and it is not my job to change their needs.

It has been a real time of growth.  I could not have imagined considering these to be my greatest accomplishments at any point in my life. 

I have also started taking a Course In Miracles and that is something I have wanted to do for years.  There is movement and light in my life and I am so blessed for every thing that has presented itself.

Happy Holidays to all of you wonderful Beings and thankyou for all the Blessings you bring me, even if you can't see them up close and personal.