Your Own Worst Enemy

How does one know that they are their own worst enemy?  It is quite simple really. 

What do you do to make feeling good go away?

This is something that has come to rest on my doorstep this week.  Let me explain.  I do not much care for doctors and I definately have no use for pharmecueticals.  This week I have seen two doctors and filled a prescription.  Hmmmm,  now what is going on here?  More background required.

About 15 months ago I was feeling worse than I believed I had ever felt before in my entire life.  I did a number of things to solve my problem and nothing seemed to work . The pain in my aging body became a constant, noisy companion at best.  I do believe that there were very few places that did not let me know they existed and I may have had a few aches and pains in places nobody would believe existed.  I finally broke down and went to see a doctor.  I was lucky to find a medically trained physician who did not believe that the traditional medical model was the beginning and the end of all human existence.  He suggested I use the Blood Type Diet as a way to begin the healing in my body AND he made a point of telling me of patients who were miraculously healed as a result of this "diet book".   I do believe he mentioned a liver patient but that is really neither here nor there.  I bought the book and immediately tossed it aside because I didn't want to give up anything that it said I should not eat.  Three months later I was back in his office feeling even worse and he noticed I was toting the book around and suggested I use it.  I did.

I admit that within 2 weeks a great deal of the pain I had been feeling was virtually non-existent.  I lost 40 pounds along with the pain over the following six months AND kept the weight off and the pain at bay until about 8 weeks ago.  What changed?

I did.  Approximately 8 weeks ago I started eating things that I had not eaten for over a year and I have pain.  I have swelling and my joints are screaming at me.  Today I filled a prescription for something that I thought would never be a part of my life again.  An anti-inflammatory.   How did this happen?  I simply did what so many of us do,  I went back to my old ways.  No pity for myself here, just a blinding awareness that I have issues around feeling good. 

I know very few people who do not have issues around "feeling good" both physically and emotionally.  I work with the public in the retail arena so I have had many conversations with women around my weight loss over the past year.  I heard the standard question over and over again, "How did you do it?"  I was so eager to share the how with anyone who would listen, as we all are when we find the "secret" to any success encountered but I was also amazed at how many people had already done the program, succeeded at weight loss and ended right back where they started because they approached the new eating pattern as part of a weight loss program instead of a lifestyle change.  I have heard at least a hundred women recount their success story only to hear it end with..."So it didn't work for me."   Well here I am, in a position to set myself up to use those exact words. 

The clear difference here is that I KNOW the only reason the program stopped working for me is because I stopped the program.  Again, why?  Again, I felt really good and I must not really want that at some level.  At this point it is important to note that there was nobody else in my life, personal or professional attempting to sabatoge me in any way, so, I only had myself to count on to do the deed.  My old enemy, always lurking in the background just waiting for the opportunity to knock me down a peg or two.  I can always depend on me to be my own worst enemy when needed.

So, I will be pondering the question in order to bring myself into full conscious awareness that "the enemy" is active.   A good question for everyone to ask from time to time.  My time is now.

WHAT DO YOU DO TO MAKE FEELING GOOD GO AWAY?

First the "What's" and then the "Why's"